We shop all year long. We’re addicted to it (some more than others)…men hate it, women love it (let the generalization slide, it’s true).

I read an interview with Kim Yarrow, Ph.D. in Medscape about this, and found it interesting.

“I just finished a new book on that subject, Decoding the New Consumer Mind, so a short summary might be hard! I suppose if I were to narrow it down to the one most important thing, I would say that buying usually involves relationships in one way or another. The motivation for almost everything we buy has something to do with connecting with other human beings. Even when it comes to practical purchases, the particular brand or product we choose relates to our connections with other human beings.” – Dr. Yarrow

To be sure, there are conditions like compulsive shopping, and shopping addiction however, Dr. Yarrow discussed regular shopping and “increases in anxiety, societal anger, individualism, and loneliness.” which do exist around shopping.

“I'm saying that everyone approaches the marketplace with more anxiety because as a culture, we're a more anxious group of people. People feel less trusting of everything: schools, businesses, government, the media. At the same time, they're less connected to and nurtured by other people in their community. Many of these relationships have been disintermediated by our use of technology. People therefore have higher levels of anxiety, and we know that people process information differently and make decisions in different ways when they're anxious. So when they shop, they're a bit more defensive; they start from a position of distrust, and therefore retailers have to do more to win their interest and loyalty.” – ibid

So, shopping is a way of decreasing anxiety proven by FMRI scanning showing dopamine spikes and this is the neuropsychiatric basis of addiction. “Retail Therapy” is a real thing. It’s a way of being creative, as well. Online browsing, while being a ‘solo’ activity can occur in a social setting (like a Starbuck’s) and can be a conversation starter, as well. “Black Friday” can be viewed as a competition to grab the best bargain, and the excesses seen in stores (a minority of people engaging in it) can be explained as “anything to win” behavior. It is also a tradition. Also, there are those who through circumstance are alone on the holiday in increasing numbers, as the “baby boomers” age. For them, shopping is a social activity, a way to get out and about and interact. Let’s not forget that anticipation of deals adds to the anxiety of finding and achieving the best one.

Shopping in a crowd is stressful, as well. Have you ever gotten home and wondered “Why the heck did I buy that?”. You bought it to relieve the stress, anxiety and feeling that “everyone’s finding what they wanted, why not me?”. People rarely think logically in a situation where stress and hyper-arousal is present.

So, retailers know this stuff. Instinctively if not academically. How do they utilize it? To get the most information to the anxious consumer they use graphics, pictures and colors along with important, though barely noticed trigger words like “cheaper” which the mind automatically processes as “special and usually more expensive” triggering more anxiety “not to miss it”. Pushy sellers are avoided as they trigger negative and defensive behavior.

Finally, age and gender play big roles. Younger men tend to enjoy shopping more than us older grouches. However, men as a group tend to procrastinate a lot more than women for whom shopping is an “expected” behavior. Men tend to be impulse buyers and respond strongly to “best selling”, “the number one” and “the ultimate”.

The fact is, if you go to a mall a couple of days before Christmas, you’ll find that the vast majority of shoppers will be men.

We’re also the first to admit “I hate shopping, I’m not going until I have to.”

The biggest joke is those “bargains”. The number and prices have already been calculated long before the holiday.

Knowing that, the anxiety rises and guess what? You’re out the door like a rocket to camp out overnight in front of the store. It’s cool. And you’ll meet a lot of people.

Happy holidays, folks.